Everything You Want
by Ametank
Summary: Why can't Kagome return Hojo or Kouga's affection? Songfic to Vertical Horizon's Everything You Want. R&R PLEASE!


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. But I really like to tug on his ears ^_____^
Everything You Want –Vertical Horizon

***

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Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in

Oh and it's rising in the back of your mind

You never could get it unless you were fed it

Now you're here, and you don't know why

Kagome sat alone on the fence, looking out around the tiny village. She wondered how long it would take to gather all the Shikon shards. Inuyasha was inside, brooding as usual, and she smiled. Kaede was tending to some of his more recent wounds, and no doubt in another day or two they would be on the road again, hunting down shards.

Miroku had wandered into the busier parts of town, still "frantically" searching for the mother of his child. As long as it wasn't her rear his hand was attached to, Kagome actually found it fairly amusing. Sango was just outside the village, training with Kirara's help, and Shippo was helping Kaede. The night was so peaceful that she decided to go for a walk.

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But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen, listen and wait for

The echoes of angels who won't return

Her shoes made soft _hush hush _sounds as they brushed the grass beneath her, and crickets made the air hum with their songs. Kagome imagine that if there were words to that vibrating melody, it would be something of a love song. She kicked at a rock, and it sailed through the air, hitting a tree with a _thump_ before tumbling to the ground. When Kagome looked up, she recognized it as the place where she first met Inuyasha, and pulled the sacred arrow from his chest.

She ambled onward.

The clearing broke free from the trees ahead of her and she went to sit on the edge of the well. The wood was smooth from time after time climbing up and over. She looked down into the pit, wondering what was going on at home. She cringed that the thought of what new diseases her grandfather was coming up with for her. She thought of Hojo, his smile, his complete and total acceptance of both her seemingly endless diseases, and the way she always seemed to be standing him up, or running out on him.

Somewhere a voice inside of her scolded:

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He's everything you want, he's everything you need

He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be

He says all the right things at exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why

And it's true. He is unwaveringly sweet to her, not like Inuyasha. Inuyasha is vulgar, rude, impulsive, and overbearing. He complained about everything, constantly put her down, and all he really wanted was the stupid jewel shard anyway. Hojo had no ulterior motives for wanting her, he just did. He enjoyed her company, put up with so many lies, and never seemed to give up. Of course, sometimes Inuyasha could be sweet…not often…but _sometimes_…

Kagome swung her legs back over the well and started walking back to the village. Outside Kaede's hut Shippo was looking for her. He grinned and bounced up into her arms. Kagome smiled and hugged him.

"Where did you go, Kagome?" he asked. 

"I just went for a walk," she tapped him on the nose, "Don't worry so much." But of course Shippo would always worry about Kagome. Ever since they had crossed paths with the Thunder Brothers he had been fiercely attached to her. Kagome wondered how much longer she would have him around. She couldn't imagine leaving him behind, but once they recovered the jewel shards, what would happen then?

They went inside and Shippo told her that Inuyasha would be ready to leave the next day. Kagome rolled her eyes at the hurry and she and Shippo curled up and fell asleep.

Kagome peddled her bicycle alongside the group, with Shippo perched in the basket. Inuyasha lead the way towards where Kagome sensed he newest jewel shard. She noticed Miroku was watching her curiously and smiled. He moved closer to her and asked, "Lady Kagome, is something troubling you?" Kagome saw Inuyasha's ears twitch backwards to her.

"No way," she laughed, "Why do you ask?"

"You just seem a bit distracted, that's all. Is there something on your mind?"

There was of course, all night she had pondered over Hojo. It was so stupid of her, he was perfect, but she just couldn't force herself to like him that way. "Just zoning out I guess," she brushed off, "I didn't sleep so well last night."

Miroku gave her an _I know better_ look, but let it go. Kagome looked ahead to see Inuyasha ignoring them pointedly. What was it about him…?

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You're waiting for someone to put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

One moment she felt so close to him, the next it was like he never cared. He was a rollercoaster of emotions that constantly swept her up and down through loops and around curves, never really sure where she was at the moment, but always knowing that the end was right where she started. And just when she thought she had found it, that one thing, that core hurt, there was always something else, some new pain, and he would shut down, and the ride would start again. Just once she wished he would say something, anything that resembled- _I care_.

Suddenly Kagome felt the presence of two jewel shards approaching at impossible speed. The initial shock passed as she recognized the bearer as Kouga of the wolf demon clan. Moments after sensing the shards he was standing there, smirking at Inuyasha, whose whole body was singing with tension, before he turned that adoring gaze to her.

"Hey there, Kagome, I came to see how you were doing," he said approaching her. Kagome hopped of her bike and smiled warmly back at him. "Hope the mutt-face isn't putting you in harms way."

Kagome laughed nervously. "No, no, we're just on our way to a new jewel shard."

"Way to go, Kagome!" snarled Inuyasha, "Why don't you just hand the jewel shards over to him now!"

Kagome scowled. She wanted to shout all sort of angry things at him, but Kouga beat her to it. "Don't you talk to my woman that way!" And they were off into one of their stupid verbal battles. But it made Kagome smile to know that at least _someone_ was sticking up for her to Inuyasha's rudeness. Kouga really was very sweet. But then that inner voice was back shouting at her in her mind and this time it was Kouga's face she saw…

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He's everything you want, he's everything you need

He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be

He says all the right things at exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why

"Shut up wolf!" Inuyasha snarled, hand reaching for the tetsueiga. Kagome frowned sadly.

"Just stop it," she muttered. "It's so stupid. Just stop." Then she hopped on her bike and peddled as quickly as she could away from the scene. She didn't want to hear their bickering, and suddenly Kouga's defense of her left a bad taste in her mouth. It was all wrong. 

"Hey Kagome, where are we going?" chirped Shippo nervously from the basket.

Kagome screeched to a halt, almost toppling the bike and herself to the ground. "Shippo! I completely forgot! Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," he replied a bit disoriented by their sudden stop. "Are you okay Kagome?" He climbed up into her arms and hugged her.

"I'll be fine," she replied softly, secretly grateful for Shippo's company.

"Is it Inuyasha and Kouga?"

_That's just part of it_, Kagome thought, but aloud said, "Yeah. It's so stupid the way they fight."

"Inuyasha's just jealous," Shippo said definitely. "Kouga is his rival in love."

Kagome shook her head and ruffled his hair, smiling. "Let's go back."

Inuyasha fumed all evening long. Kouga decided to stay and "protect Kagome" and she could see that he was not dealing with the new addition to the group very well. Kouga sat himself down in between she and Inuyasha, whose ears twitched with agitation but said nothing. Kouga told her about how well his pack was doing, and that he had stopped letting his wolves eat people, which he expected to make Kagome happy. 

"That's great Kouga!" she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, and it seemed convincing enough; however on the other side of the fire she could see Sango and Miroku speaking in hushed tones, occasionally sparing glances her way. Shippo was curled up in her lap fast asleep.

Kagome tried not to let it show, but she kept glancing in Inuyasha's direction. He scooted away from the group and sat, looking up at the sky and scowling.

__

But you'll just sit tight and watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine with all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

She wanted really badly to go talk to him, but soon everyone was turning in for the night, and Kagome slid beneath her blanket and tried her best to sleep. 

Something startled her awake, but she couldn't quite tell what it was. She sat up and looked around, just in time to see Inuyasha disappearing into the trees following Kikyo's soul reapers. She looked around to see that everyone was still deep asleep so she hurried off to follow.

She could see a faint glow from within the trees. She hesitated, not really sure whether she wanted to continue. But despite her worry she found herself climbing over the brush, ducking low limbs, and winding through the trees. She found them exactly as she suspected. Kikyo held Inuyasha's face in her hands, speaking too softly for Kagome to hear. Inuyasha's face was warped with sorrow and longing.

Kagome felt her breath hitch in her throat. She would never be used to the sight of them together…

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Out of the island and into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice, but you still hide away

Anger of angels who won't return

Kikyo turned, saw her standing there, and Kagome fled before Inuyasha could see her. But he did, calling out her name as she ran blindly through the trees. _I made the choice. I knew and still I followed_. Tears spilled down her face like glittering streamers capturing starlight and throwing it off into the shadows. She wound through the trees fighting the trees that, with low limbs, gouged at her arms, leaving bright red welts rising on her smooth skin.

Suddenly strong arms were wrapped around her, pressing her back against a firm chest. She didn't even look to see who it was, just closed her eyes and fought tears. She could see it now; she was so foolish. He loved Kikyo, and he always would. There was just no room left for her in _his_ heart. In her mind she saw Kouga's face, twisted and terribly sad. He opened his mouth…

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I'm everything you want, I'm everything you need.

I'm everything inside of you that you wish you could be.

Kagome nodded her head and thought, _I know, I know, I'm so sorry I know._ Someone else was wrapping her in a hug, so that she was surrounded on either side, but still she couldn't escape, and this time it was Hojo who gazed at her, eyes downcast, looking so dejected. Without meeting her gaze he said…

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I say all the right things at exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why.

Kagome shivered and tried to relax in the arms that held her, still not caring who it was, not sure it mattered. Her tears were slowing a little and in her mind she answered him,

__

And I don't know why

Why, why

I don't know why.

"Lady Kagome?" Miroku's voice whispered against her ear. "Come back to the fire and lay down."

"Yes. You should rest. And we will stay with you." Kagome looked up to see Sango smiling down at her, but it couldn't cover the concern in her eyes.

Though she was sure her face was red and slick with tears Kagome forced a smile. "Thank you," she muttered, and let them guide her back to the campsite. Inuyasha stood, glaring down into the fire, arms crossed over his chest. Kouga sat on the opposite side, scowling fiercely. They both looks up as Kagome approached.

"Kagome, I…" Inuyasha's voice died. Despite herself she smiled at him, forcing the muscles of her face to turn up though the protested. She could see his discomfort, watch his inner struggle over an apology. So many fights, and she only saw that look after he had been with Kikyo…he looked _guilty_.

"I just needed a walk," Kagome lied poorly, and then let Sango and Miroku lead her to a mat where she curled up between them, and let the warmth of their bodies lull her into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning passed in a blur, they found a jewel shard, killed a demon, and Kagome watched it all with senses dulled. She found herself missing what people said, only half-aware of everything. She was angry, angry with him, but mostly with herself. And all she could think was _I should have known._

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the dip in the road, and fell, twisting her ankle, before she could connect with the ground, someone had snatched her up, it was Inuyasha. She looked away from his face, and whispered a thank you.

"You know sometimes you're so stupid," he grumbled, "Why don't you just look where you're going?"

Kagome scowled. "I can walk," she asserted, wiggling in his arms to get free.

His fingers tightened just a little, pressing her more firmly against him. Kagome could feel her heart speed up. He wasn't looking at her anymore, and when he spoke it wasn't his usual taunting voice. "No," he whispered. "I want to carry you." He glared at her down his nose and said, "So don't argue okay?" But his glare wasn't real, she could see the effort it took to play that role. 

Despite herself she relaxed into his arms and as they journeyed on she thought to herself…_I still love him…_

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And I don't know why

Why, why

I don't know why.


End file.
